Dear friends I rarely if ever post personal posts to our page I always read...

I know that everything works out the way it's supposed to and usually for reasons that we don't see or understand sometimes till years later. I've always believed that. Right now, it's just hard to still believe that and not hang onto the guilt and self loathing quitting work is causing for me. Please don't feel badly or sad for me because that isn't the propose or my posting. I just needed to pull the weight off my chest by talking to the only people I know of who can even begin to TRULY, TRULY understand what I'm feeling. Yes tomorrow is another day as Scarlett O'Hara would say and whatever plan God has for me next will unfold in time. That's tomorrow though...it's still today, and today sucked.

Thank You all for letting me vent and God Bless each and every one of you for what each go through every day. The others don't know but WE surely do...The struggle is REAL and sometimes, like today for me, it goes way beyond just the physical pain. Wishing each of you a pain free night.

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  • I know how u feel. Finally accepting I would be unable to continue working was very hard. I had just graduated as a Medical Assistant, I was only able to work 3 months. I went from being very active to sitting around the house. There are SO many things this disease takes from us.

  • I could have wrote all those feelings myself back in 2000. I loved working! I was always a physical person and was drawn to physically demanding jobs. They were never my only choice just my preferred choice. I had a strong bread winner mentality and took pride in providing well for my children. Your words spoke to my heart they brought back a flood of memories and emotions.

    Some of us have to learn that our jobs are not what define us. At least I did. Now I imagine your battle for SSD begins. It's not uncommon to be denied the first time. If you are I suggest writing to all your Reps to help you. Before having to get a lawyer or advocate.

    I'm so thankful you had a place to vent. I remember what it was like not to have that. Why these groups are so important and needed. The people on this wall are so amazing, strong, and inspirational.

  • Tom, I know exactly how you feel just know I will be praying for you. Been there done that!!!

  • U said everything that most of us say to ourselves (usually because others do not understand how this disease can take you and mangle every part of you: body, mind and our psyches). I wish u the best! And thank u for letting others know that we all feel that way! Even when other around us do not know why; we have this group of people who can help us admit our pain, our anger and frustration! Thank you!!